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Love Relationships with people from other cultures or countries |
by:
Vince Appleby |
So, do relationships
with people from other countries work? Well yes of course they
do, but there are both advantages and disadvantages to consider
when thinking about starting a relationship with someone from
a different culture or country. It all depends on what you expect
from someone else and whether they can give you what you expect
- and whether you can meet their expectations too, of course.
Here I'm thinking specifically about dating relationships, that
is relationships that can lead to long term commitments such as
marriage.
To begin with, whether any relationship anywhere works or not
depends first and foremost on the individual personalities of
the people in the relationship, and not on their culture or country.
However, culture and country can have an influence on the relationship.
For example, if someone from a particular culture has certain
expectations of a marriage relationship (which expectations come
from the way they have brought up and what they have been led
to expect from such a relationship) then that may affect the relationship,
however slightly. On the whole though, relationships depend upon
the people in them, not where those people live or the country
they come from.
Making a relationship with someone from another country or another
culture can be very exciting. If you are a man you may feel as
if you are dating all the beautiful women in that country, or
perhaps one of the finest examples of a beautiful girl which that
country can offer. A word of caution here. Relationships work
at the individual level, so your relationship must be based on
how well you get on with the personality of the individual woman
concerned, and not the fact that she is either a) beautiful or
b) from a certain country, culture or background.
Nevertheless, even allowing for this, a relationship with someone
from another culture or country can be extremely exciting. The
cultural background, visits to the other country, the language
of the country and learning to speak it, the different habits
and ways of doing and saying things that people from other cultures
have are all very exciting indeed. A relationship can feed off
these differences for some time, even for years, but as mentioned
above, in the end the relationship must be founded on the same
things all successful relationships are founded on, such as trust,
mutual respect and understanding.
So what of the disadvantages of a love relationship with someone
from another country or cultural background? The very obvious
one, but something that still needs stating, is that if your relationship
is to exist on a face-to-face level then one of you must live
in the other's country - as simple as that. Aside from the practical
problems of securing visas, resident status and so on, there are
important emotional concerns here. Living in another country is
exciting for the first year or two, but what happens when homesickness
grows to the extent that you've had enough and just want to go
home?
No matter how much you love your husband or wife, that longing
for the home country will still be there. Of course this factor
is reduced in some people and magnified in others, depending on
their personal history and what their home country means to them.
Some do find though that after a few years the ongoing background
strain of living in what will always be at root an unfamilar and
alien country - however much they admire or love it - can become
too much. Holidays and visits back home may not be enough (not
to mention the ongoing cost of them) and the distance from family
becomes too great. Any existing cracks in the relationship could
then lead to separation and a return to the home country, whereas
such 'cracks' might possibly have been successfully healed in
a situation where both partners are living in their home country.
Sometimes we have no control over who we begin a love relationship
with, it seems to just happen when we meet someone new and blossoms
quickly out of our control. But if you are actually planning to
find and begin a love relationship with someone from another country
or culture -- because you love that country and find it an exciting
place to visit, for example -- then you must go into this process
with your eyes open, fully aware of the pitfalls as well as the
advantages.
You must be prepared to live abroad if that's the way it turns
out, limiting yourself to visits home and the possibility of not
seeing family or close friends for long stretches at a time. And
you must really be prepared to do these things, not just tell
yourself that you are, because you are in love. Love changes over
time, the initial excitement changes into a deep-rooted mutual
respect, a different type of love, in the best relationships.
In others it simply melts away. So be prepared, go in with your
eyes open, be clear what your family and roots mean to you before
you are prepared to leave them. But also be open to the great
rewards a love relationship with someone from another country
or culture can bring.
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And Love With Russian Women
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To Date An Asian Woman |
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