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How do I get him or her to talk to me?!!!! |
by:
Caroline Therancy |
This is a common
concern in our society for single people of any age; how to make
contact with someone that we like on a soft matter without being
forward. The truth of the matter is that we have the opportunity
to meet that special person everyday; at the bus station, at the
grocery store, at church, at a class, at the gym, at the coffee
shop, at the library.
1. Eye contact
There has to be a little game of eye contact. He looks at you.
You look at him. You look away. You look again. He looks at you
again. You smile. He smiles back. And so on...
And Men, you keep your eyes on her until she looks back.... and
maybe, smiles. Then, approach her and introduce conversation.
The easiest way is to say :" Hi! My name is _______. What is yours?"
And say something nice about her. Something about her hair, something
about the color that she is wearing, or the make up. Whatever
you find nice and feminine about her appearance.
Later on, VERY IMPORTANT, say something nice about HER personality.
Not on a physical level, but on a mental level. Is she intelligent?
Did you notice that she is sweet? Did you notice that she how
strong her values are? Do like that? Well then, go ahead and say
it. The impact is worth the effort
2. Smile. It's the simplest way to have eye contact softly.
Not many people do this and this transforms that way we are perceived.
I saw once on TV. a report on some kind of monkey in the African
jungle; two males were fighting to get a female and to stop the
fight, one had to show his teeth to the other one. For us human,
smiling can have an emotional impact that could lead to dramatic
effects on our lives.
Exercise: Smile to at least 5 strangers everyday, even if the
person is not attractive to you. Be careful not to look as if
you were "simple of mind". Just like a glance, a brief smile by
looking in the eye and let go.
Try to get the habit, you will be surprise of the impact that
you will have on other. Smiling is inviting and soon enough, it
will become a reflex that could let you go far. I know one co-worker
got a promotion because the upper management tought he was a candidate
with the skills to do the job but also because he seemed like
someone with whom it is easy to get along with.
3. Introduce conversation. The easiest way to introduce a conversation
is to ask a question. Then, follow it with a short amusing story
about the situation. For example, if you are at the grocery store
and you see that cute girl near the peas section, excuse yourself
and ask her what she would recommend. After she has answered,
follow by a joke you have seen on TV or something that happened
to you about peas when you were younger. Laughing or make a person
laugh is a quality that you have to develop.
One important thing; don't think of the rejection; it will paralyze
you. If they decline, say to yourself that there must be a good
reason - they are already in a relationship or not ready to get
involved yet, etc..- Move on to the next one. Very important.
Don't let one or two declines prevent you from meeting that special
person. If you don't take charge of your love life, who will?
4. Then you can pass on to the next step: You give your phone
number or ask for it. Simply.
That is the lowest pressure invitation because it leaves the decision
to the other person to call you. Or not. That way, no one is getting
hurt. You can meet tons of people that way and be a "hot commodity".
The more you will have dates, chances are that you will feel better
about yourself and you will become more attractive to the eyes
of the others.
Say something like " You seem like a fun person and I would like
to see you again for coffee. I don't have much time right now
so I am leaving you my phone number and call me next week and
we will arrange for meeting. It was nice meeting you"
You can invite that person early in the conversation and let that
person decide if they will call you. No pressure for anyone. Imagine
if you do that to 3 people per week, chances are that you will
have a busy dating life. You will make all of your unhappy married
friends envious.
Those are just basic instructions to meet people. However, be
creative. Try new method. At worst, somebody will say "no". At
best, you may meet the person of your dreams...
Isn't it worth the effort?
About the author:
Who is Caroline? She is a growing expert on love, relationship,
romance because she is reading extensively on the subject. She
is gladly sharing her knowledge and experience.
The Art Of
Approaching Women
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