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|
Getting an Exciting Life After a Break Up |
by:
Caroline Therancy |
Breaking up.
The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected. Hopeless. You
don’t want to go back in the jungle again. You may even have that
dread feeling of failure.
Suddenly, all the love songs at the radio seemed to have been
written for you. You want to stay in bed. Shut all the doors and
the windows. Bring the kids to your relatives for a while. You
don’t feel like talking to anybody now. You swear to yourself
that you will never get involved with someone again, half believing
it.
Life is much more exciting than that. Besides, you are not the
last and only person experiencing a separation. And, it might
not be your last breakup either. With the proper mental tools,
break ups could be less painful.
Breaking up, I prefer to call it an opportunity for a change of
habits. It’s like having an addiction and you need to cut yourself
from it. It’s painful but necessary. The good news about it is
that it doesn’t need to be Hell on Earth. There are effective
ways to go through this process with smooth sailing.
First, you absolutely need to stop thinking of the great moments
that you had together. Chances are that those moments happened
a long time ago, not to mention, not that often either. Keep in
mind the reasons of your break up, until your mind is in sync
with your heart. And don’t keep in touch with that person for
now, if you can. Or reduce the frequency of contacts at its bare
minimum.
Write a letter
You need to let the emotions out. Write everything that frustrates
you, made you angry, sad, etc… You don’t necessarily need to send
it to your previous partner but at least, this is a proven healing
process for you to calm the storm inside. You can choose to keep
it somewhere to read for yourself later, when the healing process
will be over. You might discover some strength that you are not
aware about you.
Make new friends.
You need to socialize more the ever. How do you do that? Go to
fairs, reading clubs, sports clubs, art clubs, etc… ask questions,
make conversations, and exchange phone numbers with people to
do activities and keep in touch. Offer to help with something.
Friends come fast like that. Don’t jump into another relationship
to avoid facing your feelings of emptiness. Chances are that there
will be other disappointments. You need to finish the process
of unblocking all of your emotions to freely open your heart again
to someone else, and increase the chances of success.
Pamper yourself.
Treat yourself. Take naps in the Sun. Get a pedicure. A great
massage. Read the bible. Read inspiring texts that will give you
strength ( Like the book “Chicken soup for Soul”). Go jogging.
Do someYoga. Listen to Jazz music. Eat well. Go pick apples with
the kids. You know what I mean; do all the activities that help
put your soul to calm.
Stay away from unsupportive people
Neutralized your mind and heart from some comments of your family
and friends. I am sure that they really want your good. But they
maybe are a little bit …. “clumsy” in the way they express their
caring for you “ When are you going the get married? You can’t
go from people to people like that! You are getting old, you know?”
or “ There are other people you know; 1 lost, 10 found!” (I hate
that one). Hang out with people who are taking your mind off things,
who understands and gives you the support that you need. I remember
reading this about hardships that “ It is not only time that heals
the heart, but also all the warmth and love around us.”
Get a Pet
When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I got a cat. He was so
tiny and requested so much of my attention that it fulfilled my
need to feel wanted. A pet doesn’t replace the love and attention
that a boyfriend or girlfriend can give, but, it’s all part of
the process of having a full life. So get a dog, a cat, a turtle,
whatever provides that added value in your life.
Find at least 3 Passions
You will need to get all the strength that you can possibly have
to open your heart to fun. Fill your life to the fullest with
different passions. Take cooking lessons, take a gold lesson,
try other sports, and try painting, other arts, and hobbies of
some kind. Learning a new thing will keep your mind busy, you
will have a new skill and will feel good about yourself and, you
will be more interesting for a future mate. One of my friends
was single for at least 2 years. She decided to join a badminton
club. The first semester, nobody was really interesting for her.
In the second semester, there was still no new blood coming. But
she still subscribed because she enjoyed the activity so much.
The third semester, this dark handsome policeman join the league
and it didn’t take long before they hooked up. And today, they
share, among other things, this passion. It’s an opportunity to
have fun together and to be together.
Date Again.
Yes! You read right! Date again! Jump right back on the Horse
again! You need to rebuild your self-esteem and being in situations
where people from the opposite sex find you interesting will prevent
that you go down into that whole. You don’t need to get deeply
emotionally involved. Date to have fun. Keep the relationships
light and simple. Where do you find those people? Go on dating
sites, classifieds, friends, and acquaintances. Since you are
not out to find a husband and wife yet, you won’t be threatening.
Get to the stage of feeling great being single
Take the time to Truly feel fulfilled in a single life. This is
a powerful way to find true love because if you are having a great
life alone, you will be willing give up your exciting single lifestyle
for the person that is really worth it.
Be and Feel Successful
And if you are out for revenge the greatest revenge of all is
Success. Take this opportunity to develop your personality even
more. Your children, if you have, will be proud of you and people
around you will admire your strength and more opportunities will
occur.
If you were to consider coming back with your partner, start considering
it not before 6 months to a year after the break up. This has
given time to you and your partner to reflect on your mutual faults
and strengths, and to heal.
Experiencing loss is a difficult moment of our life to pass. But
you can take this opportunity to prove to yourself, once again,
how much of a winner you are; take this opportunity to transform
yourself even more. If you transform your life while you are not
in a relationship, with a partner, you will collect the fruits
of these initiatives.
The most important thing: laugh, laugh, and laugh. Laugh at every
opportunity that life gives you. Feel good and be happy.
Wishing you great success in finding happiness again
About the author:
Who is Caroline? She is a growing expert on love, relationship,
romance because she is reading extensively on the subject. She
is gladly sharing her knowledge and experience.
A Better
Way To Date |
|
